is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
