they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
