She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
