Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
