The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
