The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
