If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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