AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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