Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
