I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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