So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
