For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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