we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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