Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
