don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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