Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
