The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
