in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
God, I missed his penis.
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