Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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