Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
