i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
someone owes me an orgasm
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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