dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
