dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
