Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
