Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
