Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
