Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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