I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
