So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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