Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
