Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
