do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
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