they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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