like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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