Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
