Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
