Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
