I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
