are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
you had me at cake vodka
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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