hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
