only if we run a train.
done.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
