just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
