Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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