Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
