Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
