I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
