kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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