Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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