I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
