69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
