Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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