but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
